Enlightenment by music

I don't know what it is about music that brings back memories...

Not so much memories of things I've forgotten (which anyone who knows me knows how I forget 75% of everything that happened the day before...) but memories of what emotions used to be.

Not sure when it happened, but for years I've been numb to any time of human emotion... I can try to pretend that an emotion I create for myself is real, but as quickly as I start to believe the lie, the vail is lifted and I'm exposed to the truth that what I thought was real was just a way to feel human for a short time.

I don't mind being in the state I am... I have no feeling towards loss, disappointment, love, abandonment, etc. I live day to day feeling the same, in the same mindset that is slightly numb, but I do count on my close friends for an occasional laugh to snap me out of the norm.

Music is the only thing that makes me feel real anymore. It takes me back to what I was and who I was at that time.  I can feel the same emotions being drained from my body over the years of my youth. It's an amazing feeling.

I can feel my pulse start to beat faster and my brain functions at a higher level. It's almost at a meditative state where I can fully grasp every perception and dimension available to everyone that's ever seen more or discovered the unknown.

Music is my addiction. It brings be enlightenment.

3 day post

1/29

Already 1/12th through the year and what is there to show for it..?

Have I made an impact? Am I closer to the goal? Have I made more friends or lost touch with too many?

3 questions that have absolutely nothing to do with each other, but everything to do with me and my focus.

I never want to lose what is dear to me, whether I have any emotional attachment to it or not... There's still meaning there, or maybe it's the principle of what should be.

1/30

Sundays must just be blog day... It seems much easier to wind down, chill out and write a few mixed lines of thought process.

It all makes sense as I type, however I'm sure that this seems like a sporadic spewing of random lines and words to anyone who happens to stumble across this page.

1/31


I take back what I said about Sunday being blog day... It has taken me 3 days to write this one little post.

Oh well... still fun!

Snowed in Sunday

Sunday afternoon... Lazy, relaxing and mellow. 3 things I don't take much time to do during the week or weekend for that matter, but when the last few days you've been up past 3am, you eventually have to take a chill pill and just accept a little R&R.

I've never been a big blogger, however with a new Mac I feel as if I should start turning more of my pencil scratch writings into a digital copy as if that would make me more organized?

Haven't ever used blogger so this could take a few posts to get used to, but I'll make it worth the while.